So has she ever been "normal" or are the patterns of behavior always present?

I have a hard time accepting the notion that she has to take responsibility for her actions. If she was in a totally delusional state, what fault does she have. I guess trying to apply logical reasoning to an illogical situation does not work.

Everybody has to take responsibility of their actions... you cannot baby her forever and shoulder consequences of her behavior. You cannot let her take you down with her... you are responsible for your own life and well being only.