That's great that you enjoy it; I was going to recommend you initiate it! Go for what you want (the enjoyable sex) but "tease" him while you're at it, coming on to him but making him "work" for it a little (teach him what you like/how you like it).

"Telling" him what you want, to him, is probably a bit like his asking you when he's going to get it is for you. You're very correct, he doesn't understand or "get it" how you would like but for that you have to show him. When he comes home tired/in a bad mood, be pleasant and maybe give him a back rub or something. Maybe try to ask about work over time and his coworkers, get his "stories" and take his side; it is his work/life after all and even if you can imagine other scenarios why a coworker might have said/done something (my mistake :-) it didn't happen to him that way, he perceived it his way and his perception, in his life, is correct for him. My husband use to have to remind me, "We're on the same side!" Oops

The best way to get some good stuff from him is to try giving good stuff TO him. Sometimes I think we get to thinking too hard about what we need and forget how much we love the other and need/want to help the other get what they need too, as they view that need. If he likes being alone watching sports, leave him alone; bring him a fresh beer and a healthy snack? Your positive influence might penetrate his negative "wall" and weaken it some. If he's relaxed he's more likely to think of/realize that you are "there" and remember he loves you too and wants you to be happy just as you do him.

Don't be too particular about how you like your romance though? If he's not a candle guy, it gets very frustrating hoping for candles from him or for hot baths for two in a candlelit bathtub (a la "Pretty Woman").

I remember a good, older friend of mine, the woman I considered my mentor as a matter of fact, and she was sick and a guy friend brought her over hot dogs :-) She didn't like hot dogs and especially when she didn't feel well! But it was the "thought"; he did the "best he could" as an older, single man because that's who he was and that he thought of her and tried is very sweet, even though it wasn't exactly what she would have chosen.

Eventually maybe you'll be able to have conversation where you can share with each other what you really "like" and some of that will stick. I was able to mock-tease my husband into getting me a chocolate rabbit for Easter each year. One year he had to have a guy friend stop at a store on his way over Easter afternoon for dinner and the poor guy had no clue what "type" of rabbit so bought me three (presented to me as from my husband though :-) and I ate the one with caramel in it first and I'm lactose sensitive so it made me extremely sick the rest of the evening/night. But the whole experience and the two men trying to make me happy and my mistake of not knowing caramel has a great deal of lactose in it, etc. is priceless to me.