I don't understand why you and your wife would be blaming only you; she's part of the "team"; how's her business/job doing? I know it's natural to be angry illogically like that (be angry at recently deceased loved ones for dying and leaving us) but I would look and see if the two of you can't figure out/cobble together a Plan B? Working together on the problem might bring you closer or at least bring some comfort to one another?

That's too bad you feel you have to declare bankruptcy and lose your house, etc. Losing a house, especially now, can take some time though so maybe something will shift in your fortunes or your wife's and change things in some positive way.