My Support Forums - View Single Post

Ygrec23 · 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nola22

Ygrec, I'm intensely sorry to hear of your myriad difficulties. I wish there was something more than offering you support and sympathy that I could do; you have been so very helpful, kind, and empathetic to me in my times of crisis and woe, and I appreciate that very much, especially as I'm still in them. Your words and good deeds resonate with me and help keep me going, please believe me.

Would a little downtime from your wife help at all? By that I only mean a day or two so perspective may be restored on all fronts. I've often been the more hot-tempered one with my boyfriends, but the shoe was once on the other foot, which was jarring and educational for me. At times, it was like watching something I'd scripted from my past interactions, with some of my exact reactions and words, except it had the more tangible and vastly annoying properties of happening in real time and being directed right at me.

In those instances, I stepped back from him, whether it was going into another room or leaving the house entirely. It worked many times. I know you are dealing with a more firmly entrenched situation than what I have, and I can tell you feel you are out of options.

Please listen to what yellowted and silver_queen have said--you must stick this out. I've only known you a short time, yet I have a lot of respect for you and gratitude for the interactions I've had with you. I have no doubt you are an asset well beyond your good words and solid intent here at PC.

All the best to you, Ygrec.

Nola! You write so WELL!! It's always a delight to read your posts on any subject at all! With regard to my wife, I now believe that things will work out in the end. She's not American and comes from a very hot-tempered culture (at least it was way back when). Which means that while she does blow up, she most of the time calms down.

As I've mentioned in one of my other replies, she has real life problems that are not just economic. She's diabetic (type II), has a serious heart condition and is slowly sliding into dementia (of which she's aware). So she can't possibly be a happy camper. I have to put up with her two or three times a week explosions, knowing that she'll calm down for a while afterwards. And I'm wondering (not knowing all that much about it) whether or not the dementia contributes to her anger per se. I've somewhere gotten the impression that Alzheimer's or dementia themselves give rise to tantrums. Obviously, I'll have to check this out at greater length.

She hasn't yet signed a HIPAA waiver so her neurologist can talk to me one on one. But he HAS prescribed both Aricept and Namenda for her, and that tells me an awful lot in and of itself. Like almost everybody, we'll make it. Which means that we'll struggle on to normal deaths of cancer and/or heart disease and not die of starvation or in a ditch or otherwise by exposure to the elements. Even though we can't buy the food we need I'm still overweight (by my own standards), and for me at least dying overweight is a sign of some kind of prosperity or at least membership in a first world society. Take care!