Hi Sadface,
I agree with Perna. I haven't been married that long (about 3 years) but it sounds like perhaps trying to rekindle some romance might help. I'll tell you some things we have done. Once you start it, maybe he will reciprocate it. Try writing tiny poems and leaving them where he will find them. Or, use eyeliner/lipstick to write a sweet message to your husband on the bathroom mirror that he will get when he wakes up. You could also get a flower and put it in the air vent of his car. Or, leave a scavenger hunt around the house of small gifts for him. If you do want the candles and stuff, just get some cute lingerie and set the mood in the bedroom yourself J . Our environment often has a heavy impact on our behavior so by setting up a romantic scene hopefully you will get the romance you want.