Well I think with getting back up to my full dose of lithium I at least can deal with the depression instead of crying all the time. I just feel like such a loser because I know that I am an official crazy person who can't go without lithium for even 2 weeks without being nuts.

Thanks for all the support about parenting. I needed it. I think my job reinforces my bad thoughts about my parenting choices. In seattle you aren't a good mom unless you refuse all c sections and breastfeed no matter what happens to you. Who cares if you child would have probably died in labor and your mental health is so bad you are about to commit suicide so you decide to formula feed and take lithium. I refuse to push breastfeeding so hard that the suffering moms feel even worse about themselves.

I can't say enough about the support all of you have given me. Thanks.