Quote:
Originally Posted by Ygrec23
Nola! You write so WELL!! It's always a delight to read your posts on any subject at all! With regard to my wife, I now believe that things will work out in the end. She's not American and comes from a very hot-tempered culture (at least it was way back when). Which means that while she does blow up, she most of the time calms down.
As I've mentioned in one of my other replies, she has real life problems that are not just economic. She's diabetic (type II), has a serious heart condition and is slowly sliding into dementia (of which she's aware). So she can't possibly be a happy camper. I have to put up with her two or three times a week explosions, knowing that she'll calm down for a while afterwards. And I'm wondering (not knowing all that much about it) whether or not the dementia contributes to her anger per se. I've somewhere gotten the impression that Alzheimer's or dementia themselves give rise to tantrums. Obviously, I'll have to check this out at greater length.
She hasn't yet signed a HIPAA waiver so her neurologist can talk to me one on one. But he HAS prescribed both Aricept and Namenda for her, and that tells me an awful lot in and of itself. Like almost everybody, we'll make it. Which means that we'll struggle on to normal deaths of cancer and/or heart disease and not die of starvation or in a ditch or otherwise by exposure to the elements. Even though we can't buy the food we need I'm still overweight (by my own standards), and for me at least dying overweight is a sign of some kind of prosperity or at least membership in a first world society. Take care!  |
Ygrec, first allow me to thank you for your kind words--you are so thoughtful and gracious--thank you.
I find your posts very eloquent and well-informed and enjoy reading them too, when I've had the good fortune to encounter them.
I'm awfully sorry your wife is facing such a frightening slew of medical conditions and diagnoses; my heart goes out to her. I can't imagine how arduous and scary that must be for her. I realize it is also straining and difficult for you too, from what you must endure as you described, to feeling helpless in the face of a loved one suffering.
From my experiences, I can confirm the anger and outbursts that often accompany Alzheimer's and/or dementia. I have served in a caregiver capacity for a close relative who suffered from Alzheimer's, and have regularly interacted with several family members with varying degrees of that terrible illness or some form of dementia. The relative for whom I cared was very smart and opinionated, loving, warm, and dedicated (to say the least), but just like many others, prone to get annoyed or angry from time to time. The rage I witnessed and had to tolerate was unprecedented and a complete departure from what I'd come to know and expect from her. Those tendencies lessened over time, and then sometimes happened with bouts of lucidity or boundaries she didn't understand, i.e. she could not go to the store or for a walk alone any longer.
Though I am no fan of pharmaceuticals, Aricept proved helpful for another relative, at least in the beginning stages of the disease.
If there's anything I can do, I am here for you, Ygrec. All the best to you and your wife, and please take good care as well.
