Sounds like me to a T also...I am unmedicated (can't afford insurance atm), and stress is a big factor for me and unfortunately the smallest things annoy me, things that shouldn't even annoy me do...and I hate it. But when I lose it, I lose it...sometimes I remember and sometimes I recall whatever happened different than those who heard/witnessed (usually just family because I try to avoid people, I'm embarrassed enough acting that way around my own family). I also go from 1 extreme to the other, and say very mean hateful things that I do not mean, screaming, hitting, throwing etc...and don't usually remember saying/doing afterward. During those times it helps if spouse doesn't say stuff to trigger even worse behavior. Mine has a tendency to forget that I am bipolar and he will say things that set me off even worse, ie: "





'It's all in your head.'
'You could feel better if you wanted to.'
'You don't need all those medications.'
'There's no such thing as mental illness.'
'You're just being lazy.'
'If you loved me, you wouldn't act this way.'
'You could change it if you really want to.'
'You are what you think you are.' (says this alot and says "I" am making myself worse by thinking this way)
'There's nothing wrong with you.'
'You do it to yourself.'
What's your problem?'
'You just want attention.'
'You don't 'look' depressed.'
Are you on your period?
'You'd feel better if you would stop going to see all these shrinks and throw away those pills.'

Sometimes, I feel so bad for him and his kids (my step-kids) and think they'd be better off without me...but I also don't want to be alone!