as i stated earlier alanon or narconon will help you in knowing what to do re your family that uses. they do teach us to avoid people, places, and things if we want to get clean. meaning ppl, places, and things that encourage us to use. but going to one of those 12 step programs to help you deal with your family and learning about what you can do for yourself is free and effective. it's not all or nothing re your family. these programs help you to keep the focus on self. they help you learn how to deal with all that/family that uses. "Deep down I resent mom for corrupting our lives..."your mom did not have a gun to your head when you chose to use. you made that choice!
as for your useage...you wouldn't have posted unless you were concerned that u had a problem imho. if you continue to use you will become like your mom, helpless and hopeless wanting to die. is that how you want to be? what affect is your using having on your little one? it will only get worse.
the choice is yours. to have a meaningful life or submit to this self destructive behavior.
NA for you. ACOA or narconon for you to help you deal with your family and helping you. the choice is entirly yours. as robert frost, the poet, wrote paraphasing his poem...there are 2 paths, the used road or the unused road. which will you take?