That's a good question, rainbow....

You have said before that you are "addicted" the the highs/lows of therapy and the therapeutic relationship... I wonder if things are balancing out? You said you talked in your e-mail about your kids and grandkids and mother...maybe you are focusing more on your day-to-day (non-therapy) life and it just feels "different"?

Sometimes when I feel different, it's hard for me to pin down what it is.

I think when we are used to big ups and big downs that being in the "middle" can feel really strange at first. It takes time to adjust to being in a quieter place.

When I was depressed last winter (the first time I've had depression, I think), I couldn't get out of bed, I felt like I was living underwater and that even walking was like trying to drag myself through cement. I didn't care at all about anything I usually like - music, reading, my kids, my friends. It got so bad that I almost couldn't function and spent a LOT of my time crying. Finally, I went to the doctor because I thought I might be sick and had a bunch of bloodwork done - i was fine, but depressed. I started Wellbutrin and almost immediately felt better.

So. Those are my experiences with "normal" and "depressed". Hang in there