Have you had a talk with your finance and let her know you want her help with this? It's much easier for me to be pushed away by my husband knowing that "overall" he loves me and wants my help with his problems. If she knew that you regret her turning away, maybe you all could come up with something to try so she didn't turn away as quickly or so she spoke before she touched you or some combination of steps that you could gradually, over time, drop some of the steps as you got better/more comfortable?