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Jan 14, 2011, 12:28 PM
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Member Since: Jan 2011
Location: West Palm Beach, Florida
Posts: 61
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pucca
I've read this entire thread and it seems to me that you keep asking what you should do and when people give you advice you don't like you dismiss it. Look, this woman cost you your job, she obviously physically assaulted you, she is no where to be found and hasn't bothered to contact you. None of that sounds like love to me. You need to get your life back together. Go get a new job, maybe meet a woman you don't have to take care of constantly. Your first wife died of cancer and you said you took care of her the entire time. Now this wife is bi-polar and you are contantly taking care of her. Take care of yourself for once.
I also get the impression that you are an enabler and actually like the drama so telling you to move on will fall on deaf ears.
Seriously, move on.
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I can't dispute a word you said. There is no question that I enable her and have done so from the start. Yes, I probably have rescuer syndrome and yes I just want everything to be okay. I don't think the love issue you mention is apropos; I really don't know what to make of that idea. Is it fair to say that just because someone is suffering from an illness they are not worthy? See, deaf ears are hard at work. I can't tell you how much I wish it was that simple for me. But, I seriously wonder, if I were able to do what you suggest, what would be the cost to me. Would I have to abandon a part of me that makes me who I am? I actually do like myself and I can look at myself in the mirror.
As for the drama, no I dread the drama. I, like most, would much prefer to have a calm and peaceful life. Look, this is easy; I love a woman who is sick. I didn’t abandon my first wife when she was ill. That whole adventure took six weeks from the time she was diagnosed till the day she died. Now, please forgive me, I don’t want to be harsh but, advocating what you did is, at least in my mind, exactly the reason why we have a mental health crisis. Do we just give up on a person because they are sick? If that were the case people should be dying alone.
Just because she is sick does not mean I don’t love her. Love to me is real and it is genuine. Yea she hurt me a lot. She abused the living you know what out of me and yea she cost me my job and maybe my own sanity. But, she did so while in a manic delusional state of mind. I believe in autonomy; therefore, I can’t hold her accountable to any extent over and above her ability to understand the difference between right and wrong.
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