I told him to leave because she is physically abusive and has cost him his job. Would you tell a battered woman to stay with her husband because it was the alcohol or his mental illness that was causing him to hit her? Of course not. This situation goes way beyond patience and understanding. It's not being "glib" (Tom Cruise is that you?) to say things like this. I never said get over it. I was being honest. Battered women use these excuses all the time to stay with their husbands. Some of them end up dead.
And don't say "oh you just don't understand" because I do. I am married to someone who is bi-polar and I love him very much. BUT, if he ever physically hurt me, caused me to lose my job, and put me through the hell this man is going through, I'd have to let go. I love him, but I love myself too.