I'm happy your glad to get started in therapy, and of course it is normal to be scared as well. I don't get the impression you want sympathy..at least not from what i have read thus far. It seems you have tried the excuses..and are now at a place where you may need help to take some of the next steps forward..and so just to reiterate i am very happy you plan on seeking therapy. Your describing your "unconditonal love" makes me take a long hard look at my signature here i think that this thought you have is actually your last remaining excuse
With that being said i wont judge you, it's not my job, i hope you will find some peace in therapy and my only words of advice are...be honest...with the therapist...even if you are not with yourself...because in the end you will be able to know for certain what the right course of action is for you...and be able to live with the results of your decisions..and the fastest way there is honesty.