I'm not very happy with my life.

I have been in therapy for approx 2yrs and I don't honestly feel much different than I did before I started. There is something nice about meeting up with someone regularly as it helps maintain an anchor in the wasteland that is my life...but beyond that I'm not sure what has changed. ...Perhaps my ability to express emotions has improved although I never particually felt that was an issue before, more that noone cared to listen when I spoke or misunderstood me when I did (which I attributed to not listening properly).

I feel stuck in these painful feelings and it is being echoed into my life which is also stagnant. I find it very hard to talk about this in therapy because she doesn't seem to fully comprehend. The other day I apologised for not being able to talk much and I explained the reason was because the pain was very high and I'd not spoken all day. She related by saying it must have been hard getting the energy to come to therapy but I had nothing to say in return. My life is filled with a silence so loud I cannot bear it.

I'm not sure what I can do to move forward. I'm exhausted with coping and I would like to start living my life. Everything in therapy seems to be 'complex' or 'long term' and I'm starting to believe I will always feel this hallow.