Hi Lynn P.,

What a tough situation. But it sounds like you are really handling it in the best and most natural way you can. I think notifying the police was wise. I understand your wanting to deescalate the situation too. If these parents can't even act as adults out of the house, imagine the kind of parenting going on at home with their children. Oy.
I'm trying to imagine in my own mind what a more honest response might have looked like way back when. I guess I can see the mom being justified in saying "I sort of wish you would have called me first," but the next thing should have been to... I don't know maybe sit the girls down together with you both and talk about correct and incorrect touching? In essence, a LOT more understanding. It is the utter defensiveness of both wife and husband that sends out loud alarms to me. It sounds (to me) like there is clearly some abuse going on at home (emotional if not physical). Why else would this little girl even bring it up (to your daughter) to call you a liar? She has to be hearing that somewhere. Ugh. It is that tricky line though as to... what can you do? In a way it is not your problem. Maybe you could just keep your eye on that other little girl and boy from afar whenever you pick up your daughter from school? It does sound like those two kids are really bearing the brunt of some irresponsible parenting - if not worse. Sheesh. To think that guy is a doctor.
Sending supportive thoughts your way.

Elana