i hate my self. my mind. it plays tricks on me, and constantly reminds me i am alone in this world.

i cant believe it. i don't want to believe my own mind; it's lying to me.

oh god, i feel so alone. i feel so cold, and numb, and despair; is it going to get better... ? i hate swinging. this weird empty numbness to the world. i wonder if i can even feel. i should find out some how... my heart feels heavy and it feels closed off to me. i cant feel my heart.

i hate this miserable life. i hate it all.