Hi Duchess
It sound like your not in a good place right now and you need to get away if there is any possible way of doing that.
Is there anyway you can qualify for a disability or some other form of income while you are feeling this way.
I kinow here where I live you can apply for subsidsed housing and only pay a portion of waht you monthly income is, it is real cheap.
Being around someone who triggers you is not healthy, as you probably already know.
Going back to a job that make you feel so anxious is probably not healthy for you at this time either.
It is good that you have a boyfrind to talk to.
Your mother not acknowledging that you were molested is not good, sounds like she has a lot of issues to work on herself,( repeating familiar bahaviuors)
Putting herself and you in jeporody.
Try and find someway to get out of there, it is probably only going to get worse for your health and you need to take care of you!!!
Don't mean to sound so negative, but I am conserned for you and your saftey(mentally/emotionally)
X-mas can be such a hard time because it is so commercialised and it makes people who don't have much money or any money feel so much worse.
I kinow right now I am having a hard time to with X-mas, it used to be fun when I had money and family/friend around, now it is a lot different and I do not look forward to it anymore.
Take Care of #1 YOU.!!!!!!!
Let us know how youare doing o-kay