I must be dealing with a different sort of problem, other layers, perhaps neurological that keep me stuck. I haven't been able to peel away layers of old sick beliefs and behaviors. After the decades of therapy, and the awareness of the traumas, family dynamics, understanding the origins of the various narratives that repeat endlessly, I still don't experience a shift, a lightening of the pain, freedom and choice. Maybe there's a dissociative inpenetrable membrane, that keeps knowledge from going deeply enough into the integrating, info-processing, problem-solving part of the brain. Something's being guarded against, or else the neurons and synapses aren't firing. I just fall into the same holes, never progressing. It's incredibly frustrating to see each year pass and no improvement, despite my working for it.