Sad with you catlover. I live far from my family. I can't travel. When stuff happens and I can't be there, I create rituals here by myself. I believe our bodies die but our spirits live on forever. So, I speak to the person's spirit as though I could see them. Some folks write letters and then burn them to send the contents to the spirit world.

My family is not at all supportive of my mental illness. Most of them have issues they don't want to look at.... I have created my own family with friends and pets. Sad and hard, to let go of wanting my birth family to be here for me, but, my chosen family is supportive and loving. You are not alone, hook up with others in the same boat and your emptiness can diminish. You sorta have to gird yer loins, grit yer teeth and do something new for yourself. Have you ever volunteered at a soup kitchen or animal shelter? Lotsa swell poeple at those kinda places. This could be your best Christmas ever. Good Luck.