I feel so alone when I make mistakes, I have always had such high expectations for myself and I just hate myself so much when I do something wrong.
I am so accepting of other peoples mistakes and try and help them.
I don't have any problem seeing others make a mistake and, I give them support etc.
I grew up with an abusive Dad who always made me feel stupid and even said I was, and that I would never be anyone.
At mael times he would sit there and drill me on academic stuff, and if I made a mistake or got the wrong answer, he would punnish me by making me write out the write answers over and over again, or I would have to write like 500 lines if i did not get sonmthing done on time(IE I had a time limit on doing the dishes, no matter how many there were, and if I did not get them done in time I would either have to do them all over again or write long lines.
The list goes on, on what I had to do, so now if I make stupid mistakes I hear his voice cutting me down.
One time I cut after he had grounded me for 1month, and when he was in an o-kay mood I showed him and told him why I did it.
After that he seemed to ease up a very little bit.
So now this has been my pattern over the years, because I get so mad at myself and feel the need to be punnished.
I was in therapy for a long time, about 9yrs. Now my T is gone and I only have group psycotherapy once a week, but I am not comforable sharing to much info. there.
I have no where else to turn.
Thank you so much for making me not feel so bad about making mistakes. It really helps, Caring words from you make me not feel like such a bad person.
I am having a hard time shutting out my dad's word to me, I get numb and cut, pretty bad eh!! I should be over that by now, I have a positive relationship with him now too, so I don't understand why I can't get over this. Maybe you are right it is the meds that make me forget or just to much on my mind, I don't really know.