Kim, some years ago I read a book about championing your inner child. It speaks of your "family of origin" as well as the family you eventually gather around you as you become healthier in your mind.

Another fact of my recovery is that I was never able to confront my mother on the issues I had/have with her. She died long before I realized a whole lot of things.

Since then, I've had a very few women that I have been able to call "Mom" and mean it. None of them have been the perfect mother I want but they have something to give that I never got from my own mom. I have half siblings and I dearly loved my oldest brother... but he died on me just when we were getting close again.

What I'm saying here is that I've had to deal with the issues I had with my own mother on my own, but I've also been able to have relationships with other women that inadvertently give me some of what my own mother didn't. Right now, my best friend gets called "mommy" sometimes. You CAN adopt the family that you need. You have a choice as to whether you want to tell them or not how you feel about them, but when it comes to holidays and special days, YOU can CHOOSE to surround yourself with these people.

A little secret... At one point, when Montell Williams was doing all his work with teens, I secretly adopted him as my dad. It was for a short time, but listening to him with the teens and him setting their parents straight helped me. Go ahead. Laugh! I do! LOL

Hope this helps you a little bit.