Hi sorry to hear you are having a tough time, I have dealt with anxiety for a few years now and when I had a panic attack I thought I was going to die or go crazy. Well I survived both and have been to hell and back. The one thing I have found that helped me was exercise and eating healthy..it was so simple but yet not the easiest thing to do. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy has helped me big time..I know my anxiety is real and I have accepted it and when I feel a panic attack coming on I just say to myself "ok, you know what this is so bring it on, this will pass so watch it happen" that believe it or not has helped me deal with this anxiety. I to was on Zoloft at first for 9 months and it helped while I was learning all about my disorder. But know I will never go back on meds because I have found a way to help me deal with it. I still have anxiety and it's no fun I know but I am ok with it. Hope you can find some relief, sending you peace and serenity.