If there is one feeling that i've felt alot in the last year, its vulnerability. I feel like im all exposed..and want to cry alot. No real good reason. My whole life is often based on escaping this vulnerability. run..run run to food.. run run run online. but never to friends. Its so lonley. I can't even expose this part to my T. Yet I can't close this vulnerability and it seems like I hate it more and more because it seems to coincide with all the bad things going on in my life, depression - weight gain - addiction - friendlessness - ugliness - I could go on. Its almost like i think if I could make the vulnerability go away, maybe others would like me again. maybe i would like myself and take care of myself.. maybe i wouldnt need to binge and purge. It never leaves though. It seems to get larger.. and makes me more ugly and unbearable.