((((((((((((((Jan))))))))))))))) I am so sorry that you are going through all you are right now. It seems that you have withstood all sorts of issues in your life. It is more than natural you would want to sit down and cry. That is a great healing skill. I hope you use it for yourself now. I too could cry with you just reading your post. Please try and not feel so all alone as we are all here for you. You are a survivor and will continue to be. Please take care of yourself.