I didn't deserve their treatment. I never deserved being told I'm retarded, crazy, a *****, emo. I might've been a bit difficult but they never had to stay around me. I didn't need to be told that he cared about me one day and then tell me he hates my gutts the next and let her harass me. I'm loved, I'm smart, I'm beautiful, I don't need them at all. I'm not a drama queen, I'm not over emotional, I never play victim like they want me to believe so they're not jerks but justified.

I know this, but only a part of me believes it.. and I still want to cry.. I'm off the high of a successful attempt at standing up for myself, and a mild case of revenge.. and now all I can think of is it's just not fair at all.. Everytime I get a little happy they sense it, they come back with sweet words, telling me what to do, making me believe them, and let them in my life. Then they break apart every bit of me as if I were made of glass, then leave again laughing, proud of the accomplishment. It's gotten so bad, it's all through the internet, and my Dad wants to send the cops after them.

I hate this sadness, I know if I wasn't depressed this sadness wouldn't even be here and I would still be riding that wave of accomplishment and happiness for maybe days.. It's not fair..