I think, at this point, you should focus on just the words, the discussion of what she "should" do. It's no guarantee that she will/won't behave in a certain way at a certain time, it's just a discussion of how you would like her to behave. We don't always get what we want; we have to deal with that situation, also. I try to remember, "the map is not the territory". Discussing what you like or don't like is not what is/will happen/not happen. You have to experience what happens for real; crying in front of someone is still about you, experiencing pain, not about the other person, what the other person says or does, etc.