Quote:
Originally Posted by WePow
So give your T the benifit of the doubt in these situations.
A big (HUGE) part of healing is leaning that it is OK to ask for our NEEDS to be addressed. It doesn't mean we always get exactly what we want.
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Thank you so much for your reply! I know she can't read my mind and I'm not expecting her to do so, it's just that I don't feel comfortable telling her what I need because I would never believe that she wanted to give me a hug if she gave me one if I told her beforehand. That's the problem.
Of course, if she doesn't give me one if I ask her to, then that's bad as well
but it's really more about my mistrust in her action when I ask her for it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Perna
I think, at this point, you should focus on just the words, the discussion of what she "should" do.
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That's a good idea. Do you think I could say "it's okay to hug me."? Although
she probably doesn't want to hug
me... But that way I am not telling her what to do and still tell her what
my boundaries are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Omers
You could also talk about tough and personal space in general so that T would now your comfort level. Then you don't have to tell T what to do but there is less need for mind reading.
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Wow, your massage T sounds wonderful! Such intuitive people amaze me.
Anyway, that sounds good. I like that idea. Telling her without really asking her to react that certain way.
Did she just tell you about her boundaries or did you ask specifically? Because mine never mentioned any boundaries whatsoever.
Thank you!