Ygrec23 - You make some very good observations. I also had felt that I wasn't lonely. I love reading and studying philosophy, neuroscience, mysticism, foreign languages, etc. It was like the writers were my friends and they fulfilled me. And, I had never met anyone with whom I felt like having a close relationship. And, my family also didn't express feelings much (except anger). What I discovered though is that I did have feelings and they were repressed. I had built in myself a strong intellectual side but had ignored (didn't know I had) a strong emotional side. Let me tell you that that ignorance of my own repressed emotions almost ruined my life. When they showed up, they showed up in a very powerful uncontrollable way. I was helpless and I was shocked. I had no idea what was happening. Since then I have gotten back on my feet and I am trying harder to know what my emotional needs are. Yes, I still mostly prefer my own company but I also realize that I need some human contact too - just for a healthy balance. I learned that I had been lying to myself about not feeling loneliness.