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KathyM · Jan 16, 2011, 11:45 AM

Gus - To a degree, I agree with you - but the level of violence in today's society has gotten out of hand.

In junior high back in the late 60s, my best friend was picked on by most of the kids at school - mostly because of her thick glasses. One girl in particular was particularly cruel and kept challenging my friend to a fight - but my friend kept ignoring her.

My friend had enough one day and told her to meet her at the park after school - but the fight would be one-on-one ONLY.

The entire school showed up for that fight because it was unusual back then for girls to fight. Everyone placed their bets on the cruel girl because she had such a big mouth. I asked my friend if she needed any help, just in case, and she told me to stay out of it altogether no matter what happened.

I was a nervous wreck when they faced off with each other, but it all happened so quickly. Before the dust even settled, my friend stood up - holding that girl's pierced earring in her hand with a big smile. The girl got up crying, holding her ear, and ran home as the crowd laughed at her.

No one from that school ever bothered my friend again. She and that girl stayed out of each other's space because it was too humiliating for that girl and my friend had no desire to interact any further with her. The fight didn't go any further because they BOTH had older brothers who were much bigger and stronger and didn't want to involve themselves in "kiddy drama."

If I had stepped in to help my friend, the fight would have escalated into a major brawl consisting of the original fight, personal disputes between other people, and people who just like to "get in on the action." Nothing would have been settled.

If I (or anyone else) had stepped in and fought that battle for my friend, she never would have earned the respect she received.

I'm all for a good fight now and then, but people need to know when to stop fighting and when to stop pushing. My friend's goal was not to "destroy" that girl - her goal was to make her STOP. She did, and so did my friend. If my friend would have thrown it in her face, the fight would have been ongoing. Not only would fellow students have to get involved, so would their older brothers. I'm thankful that never happened.

The two girls eventually went on to other school and other paths in life. They both learned to choose their battles wisely.

I know it's important for parents to be involved these days, but I'm not sure our/their parents could have resolved this issue. Not only were they too busy with their own lives, they were too far removed generationally to understand all the dynamics. I'm quite certain the police (or teachers) would not have been able to resolve that issue either.

I'm just rambling here....she was an awesome friend - may she rest in peace.