Oops, sorry to have suggested that approach, then. I was thinking more of someone like my elderly mother, who has made demands on me.

Obviously, if you don't want to help, then you wouldn't want to say that! Of course, the most clear boundary setting would be to just say, "No"! You can elaborate or not elaborate depending on the circumstances. But, as Liz says, I have also tended to let people (especially my mother) step across my boundaries. We do need to decide what we can handle or feel comfortable with and respond accordingly.

Is that better?