Sailboat- First off, welcome and thanks for posting! It's clear you are really struggling. Your post got me thinking, because this was a HUGE issue for me with past T's, but not so much with this one. The difference I think is that this time around I am able to ask for what I need in small bits, and see that as a process. It started out from day one when I asked T to use my nickname, rather than my full name. And really, what I often think of as the "small stuff" is a big deal. Sometimes it's easier to work with disclosures or requests that are less emotionally loaded - it can give you practice and a base to build on for the bigger stuff. Keep us posted