Thanks everyone. I have been back and forth on how to engage with church for the last ten years. Lots of details I won't bore you with. Suffice it to say that the church is small enough to have similar dynamics to an extended family. When I posted it was a way to deal with the impulse in a way I wouldn't regret.That did help! I'd like to PM, not sure how to do that on my mobile phone though. I'm sure its easy to do on a regular PC I'll try and figure that out this week