I'm also a recovering alcoholic (19 years) and suffer from depression.

I'm very different from the out-of-control person I used to be. What's helped me a great deal is anti-depressant medication, prescribed when I had a major depression. It was so bad I couldn't get out of bed, so bad I couldn't even kill myself I have two wonderful doctors who prescribed Effexor and Wellbutrin. When the meds kicked in I turned into another person completely. Not only was my depression gone, but so was rage and anger. I could still feel anger, but I was able to decide whether to express it or not. My rational mind was in charge, probably for the first time in my life. I felt abandonment at times, but again, was able to deal with it without acting on it.

It was such a big change that it took me months to get used to the new me. I asked, is this me without depression or is this the meds. Whatever, I knew I'd take it.

The other thing that helped a lot was Cognitive Therapy. I'd been in regular therapy for years than never seemed to result in change. But with CT, my therapist and I decided which things I wanted to change, and then I had to actually do things differently.

For example, when I date someone I like, I have a hard time putting up boundaries. With CT, I went on a date knowing I was going to say and do different things. It was tough at first, but I did them and it worked.

I can't say I'm suddenly poster girl for mental health week, , but life is a hell of a lot better. Because I don't screw up as much I like myself more. Most of all, I feel hope.

So don't give up. We can change.