I have been the primary part, the face of the system for 17 years now. But the system is getting stronger (I know this is a good thing even though it doesn't feel like it). I am never out alone anymore and so often now I am not out at all. I feel like I am fading into the past. I have always known that I was just a "functional part" created for a specific "service" to the system. I worry about all the projects I have started... if others will step up and carry them on. I know the part that seems to be taking the lead and wonder what direction she will take things in. She has gotten us in a lot of trouble in the past, I hope she has grown up since then. Although T said that she won't work with parts because we are "too messy" she seems to like this new part better. I watch them laugh and smile together but can't hear anything they are saying. It feels like I am dying but they forgot to tell the body so it just keeps moving along.
God this is strange.
Not in a bad space just in a strange one, a place very few people outside of here would understand.