The posts in this thread are very encouraging and hopeful. Cherrygash, I still get sucked under the waves all too frequently, and I've had a lot of therapy in my life. I'm struggling to understand why all the thousands of discussions in therapy sessions about sense of self and the dynamics of distorted negative beliefs don't filter down to a core level within myself. It's so "hit or miss" whether I happen to remember to talk back to the fears, self-doubts, shame, etc., and work myself free of the painful mental states. Maybe it requires more consistent daily practice, positive brainwashing with repetition. I seem to lack the self-discipline. I'm on autopilot, going with the scatteredness and reactivity. I've got to get back to mindfulness meditation. It's hard to do, but has been helpful to slow down the tidal wave of thoughts and emotions.