not trying to be rude here....but have u ever considered a new therapist? I'm not suggesting that the other one is bad either. ...i assume you feel very comfortable with the one you have because you have stayed with her so very long...but, sometimes a change...can make a huge difference,....hearing a different voice...a different person share there insights with you. i do identify with what i feel sounds like a lot of hopelessness and I hope you have given yourself the chance to reach out to other resources and relationships outside of therapy, as one person is usually not enough for a person to enter into healing...yes, it helps but, healing IS complex and taking care of ourselves...emotionally...physically or spiritually is just as important as our one hour or longer...sessions. just my input and insight..hope it wasn't toooo straightforward....good luck to you abby. i understand how important it is for us to move forward...i struggle every day with it...so hopefully you recognize your human and being gentle with yourself!