Jen,
I'm so sorry things are so hard for you now. I don't know very much about OCD. It occurs to me though that if your father said abusive things to you as a child, that this is programmed into the back of your head. Do you feel you have the ability to supervise yourself, and maintain some emotional distance between you and your son, until things balance out some.

Do the intrusive thoughts put you down, or are you remembering some traumatic event?

Maybe there is an event that happened around Christmas in your childhood that you have repressed. Maybe now it is trying to rise to the surface, and is disrupting your feelings.

Is there a type of prescription medication that could help quiet your thinking some until this period passes?

Hoping this note finds you feeling better. Let us know what we can do.

Praying for a special Christmas blessing for your whole family,

Jane