Ok, Pain is the closest. This is a girl of 14 years. Ok, here's the deal, I consider myself mentally healthy, and I am not a bad person, but I really like this girl, but the problem is, I'm 22 years old. We have a very unique frienship, probably one of the most engaging friendships I have with anyone at the moment (very intellectua/lcreative). Oh, I have heard everything from people..."She's Jail-bait, stay away", and "You only like her because you can't relate and communicate with girls your own age". I've heard every possible thing you can think of from people. Mainly people think "I'm chasing after underage chicks". Oh, hardly. I've known this girl for almost 7 years, and I've liked her at least as a friend since I've known her. I have the utmost respect, and she is completely aware of many of the factors involved...and I have confessed so many things to her, and there is no way that we won't atleast be friends for as long as we are alive. Ironically, the forums are the only places I can get objective advice...so I get extremes alot. Both her parents know I like her, as well as her brothers. It's all out in the open, and nobody has a big problem with it. Ok, I'll quit the defensive attitude (that's not what it is, but I know people will perceive it that way) .

Here's the thing, this girl seems like she meshes with who I am and who I want to be in so many ways; Her personality, thought processes, etc..... It seems like she is on her way to being a very healthy person. I know there are many problems with going by only my predictions and obvservations. For 1, she is too young to know what she wants out of life, so I have no clue where she will go, what direction she will take, and if it will correspond in anyway with my life 4 years from now, and I do not want to direct her life...it is none of my business right now. But who knows what the nature of our relationship will be in even 5 months...who knows what sort of dialogue will be taking place. I have no clue how she will change in 4 years.

Since she doesn't like me as more than a friend now (which, considering her age, is actually a good thing) it is not smart for me to put my hope only in her. Actually, in any circumstance I don't believe it is healthy for anyone to put all their faith in 1 person, and 1 person alone, to believe that nobody else can be "the one"...especially when a full relationship isn't even possible for a few years. I don't believe in this idea of "the one". But when you finally make that commitment and you know the chances for the relationship working are far greater than the chances it will fail, then you can focus on that 1 person.

Contrary to what she still believes, I don't think real love has alot to do with "feelings"...but I think she does touch on something when she says it can be "unexplainable". Real love transcends thought and words I think, and it has more to do with an "activity" and "function" rather than a thing of mere feeling. Any feeling of love should be a result of many things taking place and many different variables...people who feel intense love because they witness "beauty", they can be deceived...not to say that real love cannot grow out of physical attraction...what would we do without it? But it cannot be our only decing factor in who we date and marry ect. Oh i know these are "givens" to some people. I will not lie to myself.

I know it is not her youth and beauty that I am attracted to, but if it is--like some people have suggested--than I will not like her when she grows up. I will tell you guys honestly, there is something special in the dialogue we have. I had a girlfriend at 14, and I made out with her and did all that crap(except sex)...and I've had several girls who were friends throughout highschool and I've had girls who were obsessed with me, but I can tell you, there is something special about this, and she might not realize it yet, because she doesn't really have alot of experience with life at all yet, and has not been with guys very much. In a way, I am glad she is not crazy about and in-love with me. It shows a bit of maturity on her part. How many girls would give anything for a guy my age to like them? But I just hope she learns the things that will help her the best in her life. Ok, I know I am going to get persecuted for this. But I have no problem with it. I would like advice, but I will let you know when I know you are wrong or don't understand certain things. You can go ahead and try to "figure me out" and say crap like "You are unable to be intimate with girls your own age", cause trust me, that isn't it. I don't need psychoanalysis. But I don't mind how extreme your opinions are, share them. I want to hear honest/wise/good advice, and I will not lie to myself if I hear truth.