I see what you're saying here......I don't see self-soothing as a weakness, but what I see as the weakness for myself is that I fail to do it very well sometimes, even though I do have knowledge of what I can/should do! This brings a sort of a shame to me.....
But anyway, I think being able to see where you lack skills/knowledge and having the willingness to learn what you need to learn is a strength in itself! I'm sure you ARE learning more than you feel like you are right now.....