fallen, sometimes we can be our worst own "doctor". did you leave the hospital against medical advice?
sounds like you've been given sound advice re your current relationship. i chose many years ago to stay against good advice and i didn't get better until i left him. i was caught in a vicious cycle like you described. i thought it would get better. it didn't, it got much worse. it was suggested i do a list, 2 columns, of the things i liked about him and the things i didn't. the negative column got longer and longer and i found the positive things ended up contradicting the negative. it was in front of me in black and white. all the positive comments i wrote about him turned out to be untrue. perhaps this exercise would help you too. i'd write each day a few things-took me about 2 weeks to finish. i know it's hard to break away-something that is familiar in our life tho it is harming us is why we stay. biting the bullet and moving on turns out to be the answer to this delimma. with so many ppl that care about you, it seems what they're saying is true.
u've had a lot of things going on in your life this past year. working on what is bothering you...your state of mind.. would yield you some good results because you would be focusing on you. you deserve a quality of life and living where you learn to love yourself and start living a healthy life full of joy, not doing self defeating things.
hope my comments may help.