Maybe it will be easier to know what you want from her and then tell her once you have experienced crying or letting loose in her presence. Do you think worrying about how she will react is holding you back from expressing your strongest emotions with her in therapy? You have said you want a hug if you cry, but you might feel differently if you actually cry with her and experience how she is with you. I think there is something to be said for spontaneity and seeing how the T reacts if you express yourself. A T has the skills of being with a client who is emotional, whether the client has instructed them how to react or not. Even if you do want a hug, you can also experience being sad with her without a hug. And maybe that would help you say that you want physical comfort, after you have experienced not getting physical comfort from her. You may find that how she reacts without touching you is comforting or just what you need at that moment.

I think she's asking a lot for you to know what you want when you cry when you haven't even cried with her yet. Would it help relieve your anxiety on this if you focus on letting yourself express your emotions with her rather than how she will react? I have had a situation with my T when I was so concerned with how he would respond that I could not tell him something, so I understand how that can affect the ability to open up.

What I would worry about is that if you asked her for physical touch to comfort you, that she would immediately say "no", as some Ts have a policy against physical touch. That would make me feel really bad if I asked for touch and my T said no. It might set me back in therapy for a while, so I would not directly ask for this so early (before I had even cried or let loose). But that could just be me. My T does not physically touch me to comfort me during a session, although we do share hugs sometimes at the close of a session. It hasn't occurred to me to ask him to touch me if I am sad. He really handles it so well without touch, and I am glad I have been able to experience his "non-touch" comfort and empathy. So you might just want to try expressing your sadness and let your T "show her stuff." Maybe it will be just what you need.

That sounds sensible, as every T is different.