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Jan 17, 2011, 11:37 AM
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Member Since: Nov 2010
Location: Oregon
Posts: 797
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChaoticMind80
I think the one thing that really gets under my skin is when those who are trying to be supportive like my boyfriend, tries to tell me he understands what BPD is, and he knows what Im going to say and how Im going to react to certain things. He says that I repeat myself constantly, when Im trying to explain how Im feeling, or why something offended me, etc. But, does he REALLY get me or does he just understand the "skim-the-surface" crap?
If I wanna bring something to his attention, I feel like he doesnt want to hear it, as Ive probably mentioned it before and Im sure I sound like a broken record. Sometimes I feel like maybe what I have to say really isnt as important as I believe it to be, so @ times when Im speaking, Ill say "aww nevermind, its not important" which really makes him mad, but I just feel that nobody really understands my peeves, the lil things that set me off. Why I REALLY CANT just control some of the mean & vicious things that come out of my mouth, or how paranoid I am @ times. I cant just lay in bed @ times and fall asleep, sometimes I will lay in there and a million things run through my head and Ill want or need to speak on them, even if its 5am. Am I tryin to start an arguement? NOPE. But damn youd think I was. 1-because its 5 am and here I am bs'n like its noon. and 2-because maybe the topic which is brought up has been mentioned before or its something that he has said or done that has got under my skin. Am I placing blame on him for all fights or disagreements? NOPE. But a relationship does have 2 sides to every story. Am I the one who starts the majority of the fights? Yes. I like to think, overanalyze, and speak on things, even @ the most innapropriate times & places. How in the world am I to get things off of my chest, and keep from holding things in, if I cant speak on things, no matter how far-fetched, annoying, ridiculous, offensive or repetative they become. Ugh, how frustrating!!! Im rambling, but Id like some input if yall dont mind. Thanks!!!!
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There's a book I want you to look for "Nonviolent Communication" by Marshall Rosenberg. It has helped me enormously with just this problem. It is, however, extremely difficult for a borderline to do, and I spent months on it with a therapist.
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