I have always had OCD and got an official dx at 17. My mom is the same way and is on Paxil, which I was Rx but it made me a zombie so I'm on the lowest dosage possible of Lexapro (10 mg).

I bite my nails a lot, pick at scabs....all the typical stuff. Everything has to be even. When I wash my hands I take 2 pumps of soap, count 20 seconds, and use 2 or 4 paper towels. When I eat I split everything in half and chew half on the right side and half on the left. Things like M&Ms, I have to eat 2 of the same color, chew one on the left and one on the right. If I'm holding a glass and 1 finger accidentally lifts off the glass I have to lift all my other fingers so all of them have touched the glass the same amount of times.

This type of stuff has always been normal to me and I do it sorta subconsciously. But now I'm noticing my compulsions and they are getting kind of scary. Like if I'm on a long road trip home or something I find myself wondering what would happen to me if I just drove my car off the side of the road. Just turned the wheel really quick on cruise control.

Just a minute ago my boyfriend was buzzing his head and I had this urge to just buzz mine. Don't know why. I don't want short hair or anything. Just had an urge to for some reason.

I have been able to talk myself down from them and control them but I'm scared that they're getting stronger. I'm afraid to drive which freaks me out. I have asked my bf to drive my car before because I feel like it I get behind the wheel I will have those compulsions.

The thing is that I'm not suicidal. I don't ever have wishes to die or to kill myself. I never think about that. So I don't understand why my compulsions typically involve something that would hurt me. Sometimes I will bite my nails or cuticle to the point of drawing blood. I just want to stop thinking these things and don't know why I can't stop. I don't want to eventually give in to my compulsions and end up hurting myself or someone else. I feel like I'm dangerous or something but I know that I would never hurt a fly. What is going on?