Yes, it's just you keep trying and things do improve. My AA sponsor suggested that I compare myself to myself instead of comparing myself with other people, where I'll invariably loose. I was in regular talk therapy for 20 years and it didn't seem to make much difference, although I certainly understood why I acted as I did. It was so much more powerful to actually make a change, to walk through it, with the help of a caring therapist. We never got into discussions of why I acted in a certain way, only did what worked. Of course some things I just don't want to change even though I know they hurt me (like giving up ice cream). In other instances it takes me some time to see the problem is mine and not someone else. But you just keep trying and at least self-esteem improves.