I'm having a hard time right now. My weight isn't good my dad's upset says that he doesn't want to get the the point of force feeding but my body is falling apart and he doesn't understand why I just won't eat. The doctor has never brang up a feeding tube but I feel like that's where we might be headed. It's kinda like i want one but i don't at the same time. I'm just can't gain weight if i do I feel like i'm going crazy and am a fat cow and losing control. The depression has been really bad lately. I have so much SU. I feel like I just want to tell my T about being suicidal then maybe I could go to the hospital refuse to eat then get a tube. God that's crazy normal people don't think that way. I don't know i guess i need advice or just needed to vent.