I HATE massaging my hubby... he always gets sore shoulders and wants them massaged, I'm not strong so its really tiring and boring... (and he is really crappy when he gives massages in return! )
I LOVE my hubby - the not wanting to massage is not about not loving him or wanting to touch him....
Can you book a regular massage with a massage therapist every few weeks and then just go at your own pace learning each others boundaries and respecting each others likes and dislikes... Take it slowly... things may get better