AJ is angry. You are a convenient target for that. My guess is that AJ is angry at himself and wishes for an independent life. Part of the reason he directs his anger toward you is that the anger is about being dependent at age 30.

Therapists who tell a 6th grader that venting is okay, versus feeling anger and how to manage that, aren't very helpful therpists. Of course a 6th grader has normal anger that is part of the separation that begins to take place at that age. Something happened and that didn't progress. Now he is not in 6th grade, but still dependent and wishes for a full life that includes being independent. Independence gives a person self-esteem and pride.

Raging and threatening and damaging property at age 30 isn't healthy. It isn't 6th grade venting. It's a dramatic exclamation of frustrtation and unhappiness of the independent life he's being kept from. He needs dramatic intervention to make that happen. Before it is too late to be achieved.