I have DDNOS, and for the past month or two my parts have been talking about how they don't feel cared for by my T and wanting to have more interaction with her, etc. I explained all of this to T and we tried to figure out what we could do to make it better.

This week, however, I had an experience that kind of confused me and I'm not sure how to handle it. The part that has been needing all this attention has been putting a lot of pressure on me to talk about a lot of difficult things that I am not ready to say. When I try to say it, I don't say it exactly right according to this part, and she gets very frustrated with me. My T was trying to say that I need to pay attention to my own thoughts and feelings about it, not just that part's.

Anyway, at one point T said that I am the most important one. And at the end of the session when I said that I felt bad that I wasn't doing things according to how the part wanted and it was upsetting her further, T was saying that the part can be upset. It's hard to explain what exactly is happening here. It was more the tone that she said it than what she said. I know she meant well and was just trying to demonstrate that I need to put my own needs first sometimes even if it upsets other people, but it really upset the part that needed to feel cared for and I am confused.

If she thinks these parts are so important and should feel cared for, why would she say that I am "the most important one" and not seem to mind that a part was upset by what I did? That part carries a lot of pain, and I feel bad for adding to it. Why were her feelings pushed under the rug so quickly?

I'm probably reading way too much into this and making it more than it should, but now that part is really upset with me and it is making things difficult. I was wondering if you all had any input or experience with boundaries with parts vs. making them feel cared for?