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Jan 17, 2011, 11:52 PM
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Member Since: Jan 2011
Posts: 95
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Monday, January 17th, 2011
nfs1 ...
OK, first off, please pardon my delay in getting back with you regarding your last post on Monday, January 10th, 2011 at 11:24 PM.
I sent you a personal message just to let you know that I had not forgotten to reply to you a bit more in depth here on the thread you began. It is just that I've been doing a bit of typing and quite frankly, my fingers have been taxed somewhat.
So then, back to your reply. I understand your dedication to your course studies and can empathize with you about having it consume a lot of your freetime. No need to apologize.
Secondly, no need to repay me (even if you could). I am doing this out of an altruistic desire.
With you being a Junior in high school, I would think that this is a very critical year for you as you gear up for taking preliminary SAT tests, getting some ideas as to what colleges you may be interested in, and so forth. That coupled with your advanced collegiate courseload can be a heavy burden.
Regarding your feelings about whether you have or do not have a "Bipolar" condition, once again, I strongly urge you NOT to rely upon self-diagnosis (however you may be doing so - be it online self-surveys, reading up on it in books or Internet articles, etc.). Doing so would only add fuel to a possible psychosomatic predisposition that you may (or may not) have. And I posit this in a good way that isn't accusing you of being "psychosomatic", but in that I am having to sort of touch upon all possiblities of your circumstances within the limited parameters of what I can offer you here via this Internet forum.
Additionally, I am advising you in a manner of someone who can relate to a fellow individual who may be suffering through circumstances similar to what I've gone through in my life. In no way am I able to diagnose, treat, or supplant the care you would receive from a licensed medically trained health care provider.
I do think that you should give serious consideration to following that route (i.e. the medical / mental health care consultation) rather than waiting for it to either abate -or- for it to become more acute.
For what it is worth, follow your mother's advice that she gave you when you mentioned your concerns to her, however, with the caveat of doing so for a limited period of time. Such as a month or six weeks or so. That way, you can assess how you were doing at the beginning of your following said advice from your mother, and then after a period of 30 to 45 days, you can compare how you feel with how you did so at the outset.
For my benefit, I would like to know the following from you:
01. The advice that your mother offered you.
02. What she may have mentioned were / are her particular symptoms.
03. What your symptoms are with regard to:
a. OCD
b. Bipolar
c. ADD
And why you think that they pertain to said conditions with regard to yourself.
04. By what means are you diagnosing yourself (provide Internet website links / book titles / articles / etc.).
05. What your concerns or fears are with regard to seeking professional help.
Regarding your inquiry about what I have gone through, at this point and time I'd rather not elaborate too much about myself, as I want to maintain the focus upon yourself. If I were to elaborate at length on my symptoms, I'd feel that I were taking the focus off of the issue at hand.
Briefly however, just know that I have gone through various manifestations OCD for many years (which began in early adolescence) that began as repetitive handwashing, morphede into ritual checking / repetitions of tasks, to perfectionism (everything viewed as if it were "on a grid" so to speak), to obsessive thoughts or ideas which have no relevance to me.
This has been compounded by a diagnosis of Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), coupled with a Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) [of which OCD is labeled as] separate from the OCD diagnosis, and bouts of suicidal ideation. I also believe that I have symptoms of ADD as well.
I have been on several different medications to both success and to less satisfactory results to treat my condition.
The two primary medications that offered a bit of relief from my symptoms (OCD, Depression, Anxiety, etc.) were:
a. Fluoxetine (a.k.a. "Prozac")
(Began at 20mg / day - ended at 80mg / day over a course of approximately 16 years or so. There were timeperiods in which I stopped my reliance upon the medication only to relapse into said symptoms once again - but worse than before.)
b. Sertraline (a.k.a. "Zoloft")
(The current medication that I am taking for my condition. Began at I believe either 75mg / day or 100mg / day, up to my current dosage of 200mg / day over the course of approximately 7 years.)
Once again, I want to maintain the focus upon yourself and I decided to share my info / experience with you to possibly get you to feel a bit more at ease about seeking professional treatment / medication / therapy, etc.
The Zoloft seems to work quite well in my case as it has alleviated quite a bit of the OCD symptoms, helped to take the edge off of my anxiety, and to a certain extent, helped me deal with depression, though I'd prefer it to work a bit more effectively in lessening my depressive symptoms.
I can honestly say that without the support of many individuals whom I have crossed paths with in my years of dealing with all of this, coupled with the benefit of medications ... I would not be here typing this response to you. I'd be six feet beneath the soil you stand upon. Dead from some self inflicted trauma of some type. Honestly.
OK then, I am gonna scoot here. Brain and emotional energy is a bit taxed right now and I am off to meander the Internet for other interests and information. 
Hopefully my advice has been of assistance to you and I do look forward to your reply / response.
Take care,
-vertebrae-
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